Nár Tinwen (or: a Journey of Names)
8. A Hidden Lamp
'Lady Vana', she prayed, 'relieve me! I cannot bear this new burden. He died for me, he whom I loved more than life itself! Take my life, o lady! I cannot live any longer!'
But she lived, and walked away, and went with those that had come from Laurelindorenan, for she sought to share her grief with her beloved friend, Alatáriel.
'I believe your story is not written yet,' said Alatáriel, 'Indeed I believe you shall yet be comforted and comfort another.'
'All the world is a burden to me, and my life has no joy because my love is dead!'
'Then mourn! Mourn with all your heart! Sing the lament of Gil-Galad, and it shall be the most beautiful song ever sung of him! And the sorrow will pass, and you will see the clouds opening once again.'
Time and the magic of Lothlorien healed indeed Tinwen's wounded heart. She gathered new strength. But her appearance had changed once again; now her hair was silver and she looked, if not old, mortal.
One day Tinwen just felt like having had enough time of sorrow and comfort. Now it was time to open a new page in the book of her life, to find a new place and yet another name for herself. So, on a spring morning, having bid everyone farewell, she walked away from Lorien, not looking back.
Tinwen hardly saw the world through which she was walking, for she was puzzled by strange thoughts. The night before, Alatáriel had taken her to the Mirror. And there she had seen a man and woman. Beren and Luthién. And Quetondo, the Speaking Stone, had given her a strange prophecy: 'Once you have loved too much, once too little, once too briefly. Soon you will love all too long!'
The road took Tinwen to Osgiliath, where she served three kings as an educator of the royal children, known only by the name of Nanny Wen. But no mortal man was anything like Lord Eönwë or king Ereinion, fair though they were, sea-eyed, and though many courted her earnestly. A mere servant she was, but the dream of many a nobleman of the Númenorean race. Their advances became so disturbing that she had to leave the entire country.
Tinwen decided now to do something she ought to have done aeons ago: to get to know the people of Aulë, the dwarves. She took the form of a grey-haired dwarf-woman and made her way to Khazad-dûm.
There she studied the craft of the mastersmiths and even tried to remove the black necklace that burdened her. Whatever the dwarves called her is not known.
She remained under the mountais until the very end, and when the balrog came, she challenged it, but lost hopelessly and barely managed to survive. She then went to Imladris, although the memories that a certain balcony there brought her were hard to face. Imladris became her home for almost a millennium. There she could be alone and think, visiting Lothlorien whenever she pleased.
Of kings she thought, and kingdoms, darkness she contemplated, and light everlasting. More and more her thoughts turned westward with longing. She thought, maybe she ought to go to the Havens, to be close to the sea, even though she was still bound to Middle-Earth.
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.