Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

Morgoth's Notebook

2. Sauron's Downfall

So, a few of the Orcs got their hands on my notebook, and I just wanted to write down FOR THE RECORD that last story idea was NOT a self-insert. My name is “Morgoth” – the character was “Margath” – different! Plus, I live in Angband, not Argbund. Plus, I would NEVER have anything to do with that arrogant, self-righteous, stuck-up, Noldorin prince that calls himself Fëanor. Never. I would, however, kill Sauron. But still, that doesn’t make it a self-insert.

Anyway, they gave me a few samples of stories, so now I have a better idea of how to write this stuff. I think I am growing as a writer. I had this idea while torturing our latest captive. I had to write it down so I wasn’t distracted during my daily torture sessions.

Sauron’s Downfall
by Morgoth Bauglir

A beautiful elf maiden falls into Sauron’s incapable and dim-witted hands. Not knowing what to do with her, he puts her in the dungeon, but the bleakness of his horrid stench-filled dungeon only serves to magnify her beauty. Sauron quickly becomes smitten with the beautiful elf girl, whose name is Lirinen. She has emerald green eyes and deep chestnut hair.

Sauron tells the girl of his feelings, but she, of course, wants nothing to do with him, since he is ugly and vile. She tells him that she would rather marry all the orcs than spend another minute with him. Dejected, Sauron goes and cries in his room, like the little baby that he is.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Sauron, Lirinen’s father Fëanor (yes, that Fëanor), comes to Angband to look for her. (He somehow escapes Mandos). He finds her, and she tells him about Sauron having a crush on her. Rather than rescue her, Fëanor decides to have a little fun, and replaces Sauron’s shampoo with purple hair dye. (Not that the stinky wretch ever takes a shower). That night just happened to be the one day a year that Sauron decided to take a shower, and his hair turns purple. He catches Fëanor, and ties him up next to his daughter.

They stay there for a few days, but Sauron, being a nitwit, leaves the keys to the dungeon in the dungeon after getting very drunk. (A/N: Angband’s brew kicks ass!) Fëanor is able to escape, and he brings his daughter with him. They run from Angband, but get caught by Glaurung, who falls madly in love with Lirinen because she is just so beautiful. He spares Fëanor's life, since he’s in love with his daughter, and they stay and live with Glaurung for a little while, until Sauron figures out where they are.

Sauron unwisely decides to try and rescue his love, and goes after Lirinen. Glaurung breathes fire on him, until he is burnt to a crisp and then Fëanor digs a hole and buries him. Nobody misses him, not even the orcs.

Eventually, it is time for Fëanor to go home, but he decides to go and live in Angband to be close to his daughter.

The End.

There. I’m not anywhere in the story at all.

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

In Challenges

Story Information

Author: Arandil

Status: Reviewed

Completion: Complete

Rating: General

Last Updated: 01/12/06

Original Post: 08/20/04

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