LOTR Holiday Carols

Dwim's Spoofy Carols

4. I'm gettin' nuzgul for Christmas

   
Andria! Look what you did to me! (Tune available here.)
********

I'm gettin' nuzgul for Christmas,
Undead plotbunnies that bite.
I'm gettin' nuzgul for Christmas,
Cuz I don't do nuttin' but write!

I left two Elves in dire straits
Plotbunny nipped at me
Dropped Celeborn at Moria's gates
Plotbunny nipped at me
I wrote a scene that Elrond rues,
Gave poor Haldir hair-style blues,
Filled Arda with Mary Sues
Plotbunnies nipped at me.

Oh I'm gettin' nuzgul for Christmas,
Undead plotbunnies that bite.
I'm gettin' nuzgul for Christmas,
Cuz I don't do nuttin' but write!

I sent Arwen off to Helm's Deep
Plotbunny nipped at me
Broke Gimli's heart and made him weep
Plotbunny nipped at me
I made two brothers fall in love,
Killed Legolas just because
His hair's better than mine was
Plotbunnies nipped at me.

Oh I'm gettin' nuzgul for Christmas,
Undead plotbunnies that bite.
I'm gettin' nuzgul for Christmas,
Cuz I don't do nuttin' but write!

Now Denethor claims there are laws
Plotbunny nipped at me
I can't leave my room now because
Plotbunny nipped at me
Aragorn swears it's not true:
He loves Arwen through and through;
Don't pair him with Marty Stu!
Plotbunny nipped at me.

Oh I'm gettin' nuzgul for Christmas,
Undead plotbunnies that bite.
I'm gettin' nuzgul for Christmas,
Cuz I don't do nuttin' but write!

So you better watch out, whatever you do,
Cuz touch that pen and I'm telling you:
you'll get nuzgul for Christmas!

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

   

In Challenges

Story Information

Author: Dwimordene

Status: General

Completion: Ongoing Serial

Rating: General

Last Updated: 12/16/02

Original Post: 12/10/02

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