Filk Fest 2005!

The Plot-warp

1. The Plot-Warp


PJ, in Corsair garb:
It's astounding;
Written words're fleeting;
Translation takes its toll.
But just watch closely...

Fran Walsh, in Magenta's costume:
Not for very much longer.

I've got to keep control.
I remember doing the plot-warp {Characters shimmey on stage, doing the hand jive}
Thinking those moments when
The Story would hit me

And the fans would be calling...

All characters of LOTR, with Fran and PJ:
Let's do the plot-warp again. {Chorus line, doing the can-can}
Let's do the plot-warp again.

Aragorn, sashays forward:
It's just a history snip.

Faramir, Boromir, Denethor, elbow past Aragorn:
And then a jump to the fights.

Add some humorous quips—

Gimli, on a box to reach the mike:
—and I'm comedy light!
But it's that elvish thrust
That really drives me insane.

All characters, with PJ and Fran:
Let's do the plot-warp again. {Chorus line, clapping hands high, then low}
Let's do the plot-warp again.

Arwen, reclining on divan to show fishnet stockings & stiletto heels under elven dress:
It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me.

Glorfindel and Halbarad, shoulder to shoulder above her:
And you can't see me, no, not at all.

Elrond, crossly:
O'er-hyped dissension's behind paternal intervention,
Oedipalized, I'm the troll.

With a Hollywood mind trip {Characters twirl, shake tushes in concert}

You'll do that plot nip.

Galadriel, intoning:
And nothing can ever be the same.

Fran, grabs mike:
It's not char assassination

Just a new adumbration! {PJ and Fran grab hands and break some swing moves}

Characters, swaying in a semi-circle behind the pair:
Let's do the plot-warp again.
Let's do the plot-warp again.

Éomer, sliding out of line on his knees:
Well I was pleading with the king for just a little hearing
When a worm of a guy gave me an evil wink.
He had me roughed up, he took me by surprise.
He had a ban drawn up, and a pack of lies.
The script dropped me and I felt a change.
Books meant nothing, never would again.

Let's do the plot-warp again. {Characters clap high, clap low, do the twist}
Let's do the plot-warp again.

Denethor, doing the bunny hop:
It's just a jump from a cliff.

I fell down a stair's flight—

Frodo, arm about Sam's shoulders:
—so I'm alone in a fix—

Gollum, cringing:
—and we knows that's not right!
But it's Faramir's ring-lust
That really leaves us in pain

{Charcters, back in semi-circle shimmey left, shimmey right}

PJ and Fran, center stage:
Let's do the plot-warp again. {Everyone: hands in the air, waving}
Let's do the plot-warp again.

Lights cut out

"The Time-warp" lyrics.

"The Time-warp" mp3.

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.


In Challenges

Story Information

Author: Dwimordene

Status: General

Completion: Complete

Rating: General

Last Updated: 06/30/05

Original Post: 06/30/05

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