14 Jul 04 2:34 PM
Reply To: 28801
in re: the knowledge of how the story ends making it worse, I will simply say a sad and fervent Amen.
>ts a pity he did not live (cough) in an age where the healers could pump him full of Prozac and settle him down.
More pity he didn't live in an age where Child Protective Services would've stepped in and freed him from his godawful parents. Alternately, an age that would have managed/alleviated/cured Aiavale's birth defects, and prevented Emeldir's neurosis about it. Alternately, an age that would've let Emeldir just freaking divorce Ecthelion if she didn't like him. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
I don't think this Denethor is particularly mentally ill, though in his state some psychotherapy probably wouldn't hurt...
But think about it. Would he have freaked out in the end if Finduilas had lived? Maybe we should wish instead for medicine for her, rather than him.
A tantalizing A/U: Finduilas doesn't die young. What, then, happens to Denethor? Can we avert the pyre?
However. Not something to consider here.
This is a very understated story. I had expected more to come from flirtation than a simple smile. But, thinking back, it's probably the happiest we've seen Denethor. He's wound very tight, and he's well sketched out. The tension is marvellous.
The only criticism I could offer is that the characters are so subtly portrayed, with all these small descriptive character moments, that it could be perceived as a bit slow-paced, and so if I didn't enjoy it as much as I did, I would say from an editor's viewpoint that some of these chapters should be consolidated, to make a denser and faster-paced story.
But, I think given the genre, which is mostly concerned with the slow unfolding of their relationship, and also given the skill of the writer (which is undoubtable), the length is more a bonus than a detriment. i just thought I would mention that it is fairly slow-paced and that might be a bit much for some readers. And, as I read through, I can't think of anything I'd consolidate.
Noticed a few little typos, haven't had time to go over them-- nothing major, certainly. Nothing that impedes understanding.
Was quite excited to see that it had been updated. Made my day. As far as I personally am concerned, I don't care about the pacing and I wouldn't mind if the story was a hundred chapters long.