Forum: Hands of the King

Discussing: Ch. 17 - Encroachment

Ch. 17 - Encroachment

Encroachment Finduilas POV, third of three. No cliffhanger. I'm saving that for the next chapter. No, I'm not kidding. ;-) What good is sitting on top of the most extensive library in the human world if you can't research historical stuff using original sources? Denethor shows off his chops as an archivist and lore master, while opening up a whole can of dynastic worms. That done, it is time for a field trip. As William Faulkner liked to say, the past is not dead. It is not even past. Finduilas finds this out, much to her dismay. We wrap up with a little Touch o'Romance ™ to keep the plot moving along. This will probably be the last post for this year. Real LIfe is getting very busy and I need to spend some free time working on the Workshop project. When we resume, it will be with Denethor. Toodles - Ang

 

 

Re: Ch. 17 - Encroachment

Hurrah! Denethor did not try to leave, for once, and stroked her feathers his free hand, until she fell deeply into a dreamless sleep. stroked her feathers with his free hand I like the hand-holding here as well. I like Denethor as a visionary. Denethor looked up over his eyebrows at her, over or under? having a bit of trouble envisioning this one. their hair tangling in the wind. Aww. the Sea King’s arms wrapped her. around her? the around isn't necessary, just wondering if its omission was intentional. I am not entirely pleased with the conversation between Aiavale, Denethor, and Finduilas concerning Thorongil's ancestry-- Aiavale brings up the Oath, then later dismisses it as Arvedui's blustering. I myself don't know the genealogies, so cannot offer any comment on that, but I found Aiavale's position to be inconsistent, as well as I could understand what was going on. (reading again) She wants to be rid of him but thinks his claim is true? she thinks he seeks to fulfil the oath, but then dismisses the oath as bluster? And then Finduilas's sudden resentment of Denethor's warmth toward Luinil doesn't quite ring true-- I think it would be more that her resentment had been growing as he escorted her home without asking, not speaking to her, and then the contrast of how warm he is to Luinil is what makes her annoyed-- but that didn't really come across. Perhaps I was still stuck in wondering about genealogies! But, if you had a mind toward revising, that could be something to smooth over, as it just didn't strike me as up to par with many of the other excellent single-POV emotional scenes that make this fic the gem it is. Well. Not that it's not obvious how Finduilas is feeling over Denethor (to everyone but herself, and of course him).... I can't wait for his POV after this. Has he noticed how befuddled she has become? That should be juicy. I like Halmir's confusion too. But I wasn't sure-- his first line to her, he just noticed she was a woman, yes, so he was simply asking why she was here, right? So, the second line, when he responds with such alarm-- does he think then that she is Arwen, or does he simply recognize her (wrongly) as being an Elf? I couldn't quite parse his response to her. Then again, I really don't understand his response to Thorongil either-- I don't know why the Lost should be so sour toward him, so obviously I'm missing something. I like her visions of Denethor as a king. I like how much he 'feels' like Book-Faramir in so many places, with the stern (and badassed) but dreamy-visionary aware-of-one's-history-and-roots qualities.... But I digress. I have done only a little work on Rohan of this era, of late, but I did want to say that your Morwen is eerily similar to the one I had been envisioning-- which is nothing if not handy, I must confess. I like Luinil as well. I find myself almost wishing for her POV. She probably understands more of what's going on than anyone else in the story. -- B.

 

 

Re: Ch. 17 - Encroachment

Sigh - typo fixed. I have been over this chapter so many times. I like your theory that they breed when the lights go out. "Looked up over his eyebrows" - just an idiosyncratic phrase from my family that really does describe how someone gives you a certain look like "You have *got* to be kidding", but in a very arrogant and erudite manner. My husband is a master of it. the Sea King’s arms wrapped her. around her? the around isn't necessary, just wondering if its omission was intentional. Intentional. For once ;-) Aiavale's loyalty is only to Denethor. Yes, her positions are contradictory. She starts to be drawn along by the reasoning, then slams on the brakes and goes for pure instrumentalism - hence Denethor saying she is behaving like Maiaberiel. I'll think about the abruptness of Finduilas's reaction. Part of it is that she really is having some sudden mood swings, and tiny things can tick her off. She has seen Denethor do this a few times before, too - ignore her and show a great deal of interest in her mother - and she has been pissed off on those occasions as well. Her temper gets worse with each time. Segue to Luinil - Denethor is her kind of man. She has *always* preferred him to Thorongil, since he is no slouch in the looks department, funny, smart, a good conversationalist, and the heir of Gondor. She can also see that there is something between Finduilas and Denethor, but she's not sure what. Whatever it is, she approves. I love Luinil. She didn't start as much of a character, but continued to grow on me. Halmir - I'm going to leave that unexplained for now. You have Denethor and Finduilas's understanding of the situation - Huh? Denethor is *clueless* about her feelings. You'll see in the next chapter. No, Denethor is not like Faramir - Faramir is like Denethor, except he is moved to pity rather than scorn when he looks into the hearts of men. But the younger Denethor is a very cool, very bad-assed dude. He's smart, subtle, noble, kingly, and not nearly as cold as he pretends. Glad you like Morwen. Help yourself to her. ;-) Given that she and Luinil were cousins and from fairly close families, it makes sense that they share many traits, such as being determined, no-nonsense rulers. I like to think that Eowyn grew up with a grandmother and several aunts who were all tough cookies who liked living life to the hilt. I do have some more Rohan material in upcoming chapters, including an appearance by Thengel that I think you will find *very* satisfying. Toodles - Ang

 

 

In Forums

Discussion Info

Intended for: General Audience

This forum is open to all HASA members. It is read-only for the general public.

Membership on HASA is free and it takes only a few minutes to join. If you would like to participate, please click here.

If you are already a member, please log in to participate.

« Back to Hands of the King

Stories linked to the forum