Henneth Annûn Story Archive

This was harder than it looked. Anyone else want to share the shame?

 

This was harder than it looked. Anyone else want to share the shame? What shame? Seems I have an unusual talent for writing horrendous opening lines. I say -we exploit what we must. Okay, Dwim, you're the one working on a very high degree in something grammatical (in other words, I've had that impression but don't know what exactly), please, please, explain to me how that is technically one sentence? This is a serious question. On the serious side of your commentary, I think it takes talent to write a horrible opening line that is so bad that the reader actually wants to continue reading, even if it is in nothing more than slack-jawed amazement. So, it is easy to write boring bad. Tough to write interesting bad. Not too badly put, I hope. Lindorien EDITED: By the way - that was screamingly funny, your opening line.

 

Dwim, I am in awe of your, um, talent. - Barbara

 

Lindorien: Please note the strategic use of the word "technically" in that author's note. My only argument is the fact that Bilbo never finished his sentence before Smaug interrupted. So it's a giant run-on, at best, or two lines at worst (and I can't think of anything bad enough for a rewrite). I think it takes talent to write a horrible opening line that is so bad that the reader actually wants to continue reading, even if it is in nothing more than slack-jawed amazement. I begin to think I should think better of badfic, since it obviously takes skill to write that badly. Surely no one could do it by accident... right? [sigh] that was screamingly funny, your opening line. Thank you... I wish I didn't have to take credit for it. Barbara: Glad you, ehm, liked it. It sort of gives a whole new meaning to the heraldic "dragon displayed".

 

Please note the strategic use of the word "technically" in that author's note. My only argument is the fact that Bilbo never finished his sentence before Smaug interrupted. So it's a giant run-on, at best, or two lines at worst (and I can't think of anything bad enough for a rewrite). Already I had envisioned the letters back to editors, citing chapter and verse, my erudite knowledge of the dusty corners and complex underpinnings of the English lanaguge; there to explain to those blockheaded numbskulls that it is not myself who is the problem, but perhaps their less than adequately trained readers. Alas! It is not to be. OT: I dunno, maybe its not OT, but I heard somewhere, possibly here but also likely elsewhere that exclamation points and question marks are not strictly punctuation and strictly speaking should be followed by a period. Therefore, our repertoire of terribly convoluted and inadequately parsed sputterings can be made even moreso by the addition of those little gems without fear of being decline on the basis of 'inability to grammaticize'. Of course, I could also be completely wrong. Froward, I charge forward. Lindorien

 

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