10. High Flying, Figwit
This requires a bit of explanation. “Figwit” (an acronym for Frodo Is Grea... Who Is That?) is the dark-haired Elf extra sitting next to Aragorn at the Council of Elrond in the film version of The Fellowship of the Ring. The inventors of the name go by the handles “Arwenelf” and “InDUHvidual” at TheOneRing.net, or TOR.n. They eventually created a website, www.figwitlives.net, and the phenomenon actually made the papers. This filk was written for them.
Sung by the TOR.n membership and Figwit, in Silmarillion, the Musical. Based on “High Flying, Adored,” from Evita, lyrics Tim Rice, music Andrew Lloyd Webber. Silmarillion, the Musical title borrowed from “The Very Secret Diaries” by Cassandra Claire.
The TOR.n chorus:
High flying, Figwit, so cool, at the big council
A dark handsome young Elf who stared in silence, he sat between
Our Strider of the Rangers and some dude
He was just an extra then
Pouting and sulking
No good at talking
High flying, Figwit, did you not hope to have counsel given
Not just sat and stared, but to have joined the lads in Rivendell?
Was there some mystery that kept you from speech?
Did you come from the Havens or the forest of Lórien?
No one knows and that Figwit will not tell
High flying, Figwit, what will you do? Will you appear again to us?
For someone so briefly on screen your fans have sure made a fuss
A shame you were not cast as Legolas
But it’s too late for that
Orlando Bloom did
Quite a good job, kid
High flying, Figwit, I hope you find success in movies
Job offers will come to you, you know, although you may not want them now
You’ve been made by the fandom - can you really act?
So put paid to the rumors, and show us that you do know how
Arwenelf and DUH will come and bow...
I may be Figwit, but as you know, I am more than just that
My story’s quite usual - local guy is cast and ends a star
I was at the audition and they picked me out
Then I sat at the table, the rest you already know
You’ll see me, I’m going very far
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.