Filks from the Red Book: 6. Lord Sauron's Song

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6. Lord Sauron's Song

Author’s note:

Sung by Sauron, in Silmarillion, the Musical. Based on “King Herod’s song,” from Jesus Christ Superstar, lyrics Tim Rice, music Andrew Lloyd Webber. Silmarillion, the Musical title borrowed from “The Very Secret Diaries” by Cassandra Claire.


Frodo, I am overjoyed
To finally see your face
You’ve been getting in the way
All around my place
Wounding Shelob
And shouting Elvish words
A Perian is what you are?
At least that’s what I’ve heard

So you are the spy
You’re the great Halfling spy
I will make sure that you are mine
Though it may take a little time
Be sure that I’ll do
Something nasty to you
Frodo, you are a fool

Frodo you will soon believe
The power of my Eye
You will squirm and cry aloud
And wish that you could die
Oh what a pity
If you give in fast
Still I’m sure
That careful torture will ensure you last

So if you are the spy
Yes the great Halfling spy
What is it that you do here?
Your mission has gone wrong, I fear
Be sure that I’ll do
Something nasty to you
Frodo, you are a fool

You can’t believe that you can tell a lie to me
Why pretend that you just came
To surf on Nûrnen Sea? (Oh, ho ho)
I am waiting
To hear how you might take
A well-deserved vacation
On that so-bitter lake

So if you are the spy
Yes the great Halfling spy
You’d better go and train some more
To sneak around in MY Mordor
Something’s gone wrong for you
You were caught, no ado
Frodo, you are a fool

Hey! Aren’t you scared Baggins-boy?
That you’ll be an Orc-toy?
You’re a joke, you’re not the spy
You’re just an average guy
Take him away
He’s got nothing to say!
Get out you Perian
Get out you Perian
Get out you Perian fool!
Get out of here, you, you!
Get out of here, you!
Get out of my sight!

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Celandine Brandybuck

Status: General

Completion: Ongoing Serial

Era: Multi-Age

Genre: Poetry

Rating: General

Last Updated: 05/02/04

Original Post: 03/08/03

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