Bloodlust: 1. Bloodlust

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1. Bloodlust

You ask me why I do it. Why, year after year I, with my brother, pursue them, never stopping, never resting. It is not an easy question to answer and am I not sure that I can. For my part, I will try to explain it to you.

The most obvious reason would be my mother. The image of her body, broken and near death, will never be removed from my mind. Even more so stays the memory of her last year in our home, hopeless, empty, and without joy or care. Loathe as I was to see her go, I knew it to be the best. But they took her from me. Though I am grown, I still need my mother and she is not here because of them. That is why I hunt them.

Yet there is another reason. My father, wise and powerful, aches secretly for my mother, just as I do. Though he does not show it, I see it in him. In his eyes, in his countenance, in the way he now scowls more than smiles. His pain is as deep as mine and he has no outlet. They caused his pain. That is why I hunt them.

Hurt as much as my father, there is my sister. Young and naive, and still so innocent. She needs our mother more than I do and cannot have her. When I hear her cry at night, or speak to the mother she cannot see, the anger in me grows. One so perfect and unmarred should not have to suffer, yet she does. They are the cause of her suffering. That is why I hunt them.

Another influences my decision more, I think. My brother, older by only a few minutes, is much a part of me. He hurts, as we all do, but he has found a way to stop the hurt. I follow him on this crusade. I do it because he told me on the day she left that we could not rest until they were all gone. Every one of them that had hurt her, as well as all the rest. They were an abomination, and must be destroyed. He hunts them because he hates them. And I follow him on his quest, for I fear that if I did not he would do it alone. That is why I hunt them.

Perhaps the reason I do it is vengeance, you may say. The hurts they have caused upon each member of my family I wish to return to them with full force. I do not know if this is why I can never stop, though I have tried. Anger, frustration, and guilt are all in me, and I give it to them. Perhaps the reason is vengeance. Then again, perhaps it is not. Perhaps I do this because there is nothing else I can do. Each member of my family has something to throw themselves into, to distract them from the pain of separation. Yet my brother and I have found nothing. We can never stop because, when we do, we will realize the pain we feel, and neither of us wishes to feel the pain any longer. That is why we hunt them.

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: LaJiggles

Status: Reviewed

Completion: Complete

Era: 3rd Age - Ring War

Genre: Drama

Rating: General

Last Updated: 06/27/03

Original Post: 06/17/03

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