1. Éomer, Éowyn, and Rohan
offered Grima a caustic remark
for this dashing young marshall
(to whom we are partial)
can still spot a snake in the dark
Éomer fears no Ring which may bind him
with the sorest of trials not behind him;
fangirls fence o'er his braids,
vow they'll no more be maids
if alone in the stables they find him!
To the stables of Rohan they flock
all propriety meaning to mock.
They desire game imperial,
but he's wed to Lothiriel,
and the stables held just one old cock.
T'was not my intention to shock
When the fangirls I did choose to mock.
For if Chanticleer's pappy
could make all the hens happy,
would that not make him "cock of the walk?"
Of yore, in Rohan antique
'Tis of lordly appearance I speak.
Fangirls look at those muscles
and want to have tussles,
We adore that kingly physique!
Eowyn said 'I require
a man like you to admire'
while not stooping to scorn,
declined to put out her fire.
So twas the raven of Ithilien
who proved himself one in million,
He said 'Eowyn my dear
would you like to come here,
and I'll enter you in my pavilion.
I've a bone of contention to pick
with PJ's Two Towers flick:
tho' he was in fine fettle,
Hasufel had to settle;
his part lost to some movie-verse shtick.
And just where is Gríma Wormtongue,
To whom cruel malevolence clung?
The Langue de Serpent*
(as is his dark wont)
's off examining Éowyn's lungs.
*The translation of Gríma's moniker into French--snake-tongue.
Grima with tongue of a worm
ruled Edoras with a rod so firm;
asked why he turned traitor,
said the petty dictator
"I want to see Eowyn squirm!"
The Worm has a tongue that will slither
And creepy crawl hither and thither.
But when it speaks in the night
To its Lady all White
Then it will stand and deliver.
Discuss these or any other limericks at this forum.
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