Limericks: 1. Éomer, Éowyn, and Rohan

Reader Toolbox   Log in for more tools

1. Éomer, Éowyn, and Rohan

Young Eomer, Lord of the Mark
offered Grima a caustic remark
for this dashing young marshall
(to whom we are partial)
can still spot a snake in the dark

Éomer fears no Ring which may bind him
with the sorest of trials not behind him;
fangirls fence o'er his braids,
vow they'll no more be maids
if alone in the stables they find him!

To the stables of Rohan they flock
all propriety meaning to mock.
They desire game imperial,
but he's wed to Lothiriel,
and the stables held just one old cock.

T'was not my intention to shock
When the fangirls I did choose to mock.
For if Chanticleer's pappy
could make all the hens happy,
would that not make him "cock of the walk?"

Of yore, in Rohan antique
'Tis of lordly appearance I speak.
Fangirls look at those muscles
and want to have tussles,
We adore that kingly physique!

Eowyn said 'I require
a man like you to admire'
Alas, Aragorn,
while not stooping to scorn,
declined to put out her fire.

So twas the raven of Ithilien
who proved himself one in million,
He said 'Eowyn my dear
would you like to come here,
and I'll enter you in my pavilion.

I've a bone of contention to pick
with PJ's Two Towers flick:
tho' he was in fine fettle,
Hasufel had to settle;
his part lost to some movie-verse shtick.

And just where is Gríma Wormtongue,
To whom cruel malevolence clung?
The Langue de Serpent*
(as is his dark wont)
's off examining Éowyn's lungs.
    *The translation of Gríma's moniker into French--snake-tongue.

Grima with tongue of a worm
ruled Edoras with a rod so firm;
asked why he turned traitor,
said the petty dictator
"I want to see Eowyn squirm!"

The Worm has a tongue that will slither
And creepy crawl hither and thither.
But when it speaks in the night
To its Lady all White
Then it will stand and deliver.

Discuss these or any other limericks at this forum.

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: HA Writers Group

Status: General

Completion: Work in Progress

Era: Multi-Age

Genre: Poetry

Rating: Adult

Last Updated: 11/11/03

Original Post: 06/27/03

Go to Limericks overview


No one has commented on this story yet. Be the first to comment!

Comments are hidden to prevent spoilers.
Click header to view comments

Talk to HA Writers Group

If you are a HASA member, you must login to submit a comment.

We're sorry. Only HASA members may post comments. If you would like to speak with the author, please use the "Email Author" button in the Reader Toolbox. If you would like to join HASA, click here. Membership is free.

Reader Toolbox   Log in for more tools