Elves All Like Singing, The: 1. The Elves All Like Singing

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1. The Elves All Like Singing

Boromir looked up at the elaborately carved gates of Rivendell. Now that he had reached his goal, he found himself hesitating.

"What wisdom will we find beyond these gates?" Boromir whispered to his horse. Talking to his faithful steed was a habit he had acquired during his long, perilous, and often lonely journey. "Will it be enough to save our beloved city?"

Suddenly, the gates opened, and a large group of people ran out to greet him. Boromir immediately knew they were elves, for their builds were slender, their hair long and free-flowing, and their genders -- ambiguous. He stared, for he had never seen elves before.

Then, all at once, the elves began to sing.

O! Why are you staring?
We elves all like preening.
Your gear needs repairing.
Your clothes need much cleaning.
O! What are you doing,
And where are you going?
Our beer it is brewing,
Our pipe-weed is growing.
O! tril-lil-lil-lolly
The valley is jolly,
Ha! Ha!

And what are you seeking,
O captain of Gondor?
Why are you not speaking?
It's making us wonder.
You seem to like posing
Your horse many questions.
D'you take his suggestions?
Is his wit more imposing
Than Gandalf's, and Elrond's
Here down in the valley?
Ha! Ha!

Come enter our dwelling!
What tale are you bringing?
Why are you not telling?
Don't you like our singing?
Do you find it grating?
Is that why you're waiting?
O! tra-la-la-lally,
Here down in the valley!
Ha! Ha!

"On second thoughts," said Boromir to his horse, "I do not think we should go to Rivendell. It is a silly place."

Author's note: The final line was, of course, borrowed from 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'. Just be glad I did not borrow the Knights of Camelot song as well. This grating poem is an adaptation of the Rivendell welcome song from the Hobbit.

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Tehta

Status: General

Completion: Complete

Era: 3rd Age - Ring War

Genre: Humor

Rating: General

Last Updated: 02/05/04

Original Post: 01/30/04

Go to Elves All Like Singing, The overview


WARNING! Comments may contain spoilers for a chapter or story. Read with caution.

Elves All Like Singing, The

Mar'isu - 03 Mar 06 - 10:39 AM

Ch. 1: The Elves All Like Singing

This is cool!  I found that song annoying as well.  Now the question becomes, what comes of the Fellowship since Boromir is not around to join it?

Elves All Like Singing, The

oshun - 03 Mar 06 - 6:18 PM

Ch. 1: The Elves All Like Singing

Ha! Ha! I was never crazy about the song in the Hobbit, but I like yours.

Elves All Like Singing, The

Shalemni - 13 Sep 06 - 9:51 PM

Ch. 1: The Elves All Like Singing

Actually I could imagine this scene.  Hilarious!

Elves All Like Singing, The

Shasta - 19 Apr 07 - 8:44 AM

Ch. 1: The Elves All Like Singing

Someone should compose a tune to go along with it. (And sue the Elven industry for growing pipeweed when they know very well it's bad for you.)

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