1. A Letter to Glóin
This is kind of an offshoot for Sarah's long and lovely fic 'Return to Mirkwood', posted at the AxeBow YahooGroups. At one point in this story Gimli writes a letter to his father to inform him about the fact that he and Legolas have become lovers and are about to marry. He tiptoes around, taking utmost care not to upset Glóin, knowing that his father expects his only son to start a family and have children.
I wondered how his letter would read if Gimli showed no considerations whatsoever. You know: that kind of first draft straight from your heart that should never reach the recipient, if you are smart.
Here it is, with a deep bow to Sarah:
A Letter to Glóin
To Glóin son of Gróin, Lonely Mountain, Erebor
I hope this letter finds you well. You have heard by now that we finished our mission sucessfully; the One Ring is destroyed and Middle-earth is saved.
Now we have leisure to enjoy the fruits of our hard labours. After the hard times of war we are all eager to get on with the things that really matter in life. Aragorn has finally married his Arwen - at some point during the ceremony I heard her mumble something like 'it's about time' - seems that even elves get somewhat impatient after more than sixty years of betrothal. Éowyn has settled for second best and married Faramir, Éomer King courts the lovely daughter of Prince Imrahil and last time I met Sam he talked about nothing else than his sweet Shire lass Rosie.
I must admit this mood of love and romance all around me has proved somewhat contagious.
Aye Father, you read right: your often repeated parental advice finally bears fruit. Or should I say I finally succumbed to your constant nagging and prodding. To quote your saying on oh so many occasions: 'Why don't you find someone nice, marry and get some children? You are not getting any younger, son!'
Rejoice, dear Father, and share my happiness: I am overjoyed to tell you that I finally found my one true love, and we will marry tomorrow. As for the last point in your agenda, now that will admittedly cause some problems. But two out of three is not so bad, methinks. And pointy eared, skinny and beardless grandchildren with oversize problems is not what you had in mind anyway.
You have certainly guessed by now that my chosen one is an elf, and you are correct! Knowing your worst fears have come true you will not be overly disappointed to hear that he is not only an elf, but a male elf, too. Try to see the positive: pointy eared grandchildren that glow in the dark will never be a problem.
I hope it will be a comfort for you to hear that at least my beloved husband is of the very best family. Of royal family, to be precise. His name is Legolas, son of King Thranduil of Mirkwood. Any bells ringing? I recall you spent some unforgettable weeks in the lower apartments of King Thranduil's palace. Like father, like son: Legolas tried fervently to convince me the basement would be the perfect place for our wedding ceremony. I had a hard time to convince him I'd prefer a ceremony in the open.
As for King Thranduil, I'm happy to send you his most sincere regards. He hopes you are well and looks forward to renew your acquaintance under more happy circumstances. Strictly among us, father, he seems to have softened somewhat over the years. I fully expected one of his legendary tantrums, and so did apparently Legolas, but he welcomed me most politely into the family.
Yet I found Legolas' grand-grandmother Elind is a most worthy replacement. She is such a shining example of elven haughtiness as you can imagine. Not even an legendary elf from the first age could be worthy of her darling Legolas in her eyes, much less a mere mortal dwarf, and she doesn't hesitate in the least to let me know. I'm sure you will enjoy trading insults with her for many years to come. That's what in-laws are for, are they?
Dear Father, I must finish now. My not-yet-husband has draped his lovely self over my shoulder and claims my full attention.
All the best to you and all the family from your loving son
PS: Please send all letters and disinheritage documents to my new adress: Gimli son of Glóin, Lord of Aglarond, Aglarond, Rohan. Thank you!
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.