Just Breathe: 1. Fading Slowly

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1. Fading Slowly

Just breathe, my darling. Concentrate.

I inhaled stiffly as I grasped my side and cried out like a dying animal. The forest around me had turned silent, for the trees would no longer speak. A lone tear rolled down my cheek as I opened my eyes and found myself staring up at the night sky full of stars that dared not twinkle.

Find your way home.

I have no home. There is nobody here for me like there always has been. Nothing will have changed and they will never want to take me back. I’d rather die. Please, don’t let me live. Oh Valar, how it hurts.

I would never allow that. Now breathe… in, out.

I struggled against the will of the demons inside me and forced myself to listen to the gentle voice. I began to realize what I had done and more tears began to fall, faster and faster as my chest ached with sobs. The whole forest echoed with my sorrow as I lay there but I got no response.

He will come. Don’t fear.

I did not know who the voice spoke of but the words calmed me. Wrenching my hand away from my side, I found it covered in silver blood. My own silver blood. It spilled down into the earth and the earth did not pull away. Rather, it drank it up and reveled in the glory.

Listen to me. You must live.

The simple act of inhaling and exhaling the air that gave me life began to get harder. I cried out once more, without anyone replying. Just thinking about the events of the past few days took most of my energy. There wasn’t much left for living. It wasn’t like I had much will left as well.

Don’t fade, little one. He will come.

The voice repeated the fact that someone would come to save me. I doubted this. I knew that there wasn’t much longer left for me. Soon I would enter the great halls of Mandos and join my sister. It would be a reunion that I had waited centuries for.

Let it all out. Scream if you wish to.

No. I would not give him the satisfaction of hearing my scream in the distance. That’s what he wanted and I would not let him have it. He was the poison of the land and did not deserve life. If I was allowed the grace of surviving, he would fall.

Revenge is sweet, but rarely works.

It was my only option. He hurt me. For that, he would die. Perhaps I would allow him the gift of dying as I watched, or maybe I would leave him all alone as he had left me. That would be a punishment worthy of such scum.

After the voice did not answer me, I allowed myself to fall and close my crystal eyes. Hopefully forever, but as I would come to know most of us never get what we wish for. Strong hands soon lifted me up and coaxed me into drawing breath again. I knew nothing after that.

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Anactoria

Status: General

Completion: Work in Progress

Era: 3rd Age - The Stewards

Genre: Drama

Rating: General

Last Updated: 03/26/05

Original Post: 03/26/05

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