How Do You Solve a Problem Like Feanor?: 1. How Do You Solve a Problem Like Feanor?

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1. How Do You Solve a Problem Like Feanor?

He crafts fine jewels, yet breaks the rules
and heavy burdens bear.
He balks against authority
yet faces every dare.
And when a theft did leave its mark
did oaths from kindred swear.
I even heard he battled with a Balrog!

He's always stubborn to a fault
with heartfelt passions real.
Pig-headed about everything
yet filled with depthless zeal.
And though I hate to say it
I very firmly feel
Fëanor's not an asset to the Noldor.

Still, I'd like to say a word on his behalf:
Feanor's a master at his craft!

How do you solve a problem like Fëanor?
How do you catch his pride and nail it down?
How do you find a word that means Fëanor?
Silmaril-maker? A Kinslayer? Renown?

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him.
Many a thing he ought to understand.
But how do you make him stay
and listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?

How do you solve a problem like Fëanor?
How do you catch a firebrand in your hand?

When I'm near him, I'm enflamed
he's delightful and untamed
and I never know exactly what he'll do.
Unpredictable as weather,
he's as flighty as a feather.
He's a craftsman! He's a kinslayer! He's aloof!

He's impetuous at best
whether working or at rest.
He could drive us all to madness soon as not!
He's devoted! He is wild!
He's a puzzle! He is riled!
He's a menace! He's a savior!
He is HOT!

How do you solve a problem like Fëanor?
How do you catch his pride and nail it down?
How do you find a word that means Fëanor?
Silmaril-maker? A Kinslayer? Renown?

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him.
Many a thing he ought to understand.
But how do you make him stay
and listen to all you say?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?

How do you solve a problem like Fëanor?
How do you catch a firebrand in your hand?


This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Vistula the Dunadan

Status: General

Completion: Complete

Era: 1st Age

Genre: Humor

Rating: General

Last Updated: 08/21/05

Original Post: 08/21/05

Go to How Do You Solve a Problem Like Feanor? overview

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