68. Who Can Help?
Amarie should have been utterly content and she was. But there was just that one little thing that lay just beyond the edge of her sub consciousness and she could not quite put her finger on it. She was now doing what she most loved and her creative juices were flowing freely. She was going to be the mother of elflings and she was bonded with Elrond, and through the bond she was able to savor the depth of his love and caring for her as he was from her. She had only to think of it and he made sure she had it. Why, he treated her as if she were the most precious, delicate thing he had. He was the elf of her dreams. Why then this little prick of disquiet?
And then it dawned on her. In all of this, the out right passion of their dreams was missing. Amarie frowned.
Suddenly aware of her unease Elrond put down the manuscript on his desk in the small library and reached out.
*Ind nin, what troubles you? *
Across in her workroom where she was preparing a cartoon Amarie hesitated then carefully shielded that part of her thoughts from him. This was something she had to think through more carefully before discussing it with him. She may be unrealistically expecting in real life what she had found in the dream world.
*A momentary frustration with the progress of my design, meleth, I will have to do some revising, I think. * She sighed.
*Is that all, Ind nin? * Elrond frowned.
*No, meleth, but it is nothing for you to be concerned with. I am merely pondering a number of things and if they need the attention of the Lord of Imladris I will bring them to his notice, *
He smiled. *And what of your lover? *
*Him, too. *
*Are you sure there is nothing I can do to help you resolve this? *
*Elrond, I know the bond lets us be aware of each other in many ways, but you do not need to try to fix every concern or smooth every worry I may have. There are times when I must think things out for myself even as I know you must do. I am a grown elleth, the Mistress of Bar-Meneg-Mir-Lain, soon to be your wife and the Lady of Imladris. I carry our elflings and I am well aware of your love and devotion. There can certainly be no doubt of mine for you. With all of this I think I am entitled to an occasional worry or question. *
He paused, then nodding his head, *Very well, ind nin, I will let you deal with it but if it is something I can help with, I expect you to let me know. *
She smiled as the last thread of his thoughts crossed her mind before their contact faded.
*Pregnant elleths are always full of contradictions. *
Staring back down at the cartoon in front of her she studied it with a critical eye. In spite of what she had told Elrond she was pleased with the design. It was a depiction of one of their dreams. A shadowy elleth and ellon embracing and lying on a bed in a roofed pavilion surrounded by swirling currents in shades of blues, purples and gold. Above, the dark night sky was covered with stars. This was to be her wedding gift to him in two months time and she hoped to get started on it herself as soon as the loom could be set up and threaded. Luckily they had brought a couple of the smaller looms including the one that the four seasons set had been produced on. How fitting it would most likely be the one used for this one as well.
Deciding she had done as much as she could for now, Amarie put her things away and entered the workrooms beyond.
“Beran,” she called out to one of the artisans working on threading one of the very large looms, “will you set up loom number seven in my workroom?”
He grinned and nodded. “You finished the design then?”
“Yes.”
“If you like I can set up the thread as well. I will need the cartoon though.”
She blushed, “No I will do that. It is a surprise and I don’t want any knowledge to slip out no matter how innocent.”
“My lady,” he said seriously, “You need not worry about that. If it depicts a personal thing between you and Lord Elrond, we would say nothing. We owe you both a great deal.”
Amarie smiled at his declaration. “I know you would not, meldir, but it is my gift to him and I want it to be all my effort.”
Nodding, Beran grinned and returned to his work.
Amarie sought her usual thinking place hoping she would not find Lord Celeborn there. She needed time to ponder what she had discovered earlier about her disquiet and he certainly was not someone she could discuss it with. She needed an older elleth she could approach who was both sensible and discreet. It was times like this she missed her grandmother. Fortunately he was just walking out the gate to return to the main house.
“Mae govannen, Amarie, It is nearly noon, will you join me for lunch today? “
“Thank you, no. I have some thinking to do.”
“Is it something I can help you with?”
“No,” she sighed, “what I need is my daer naneth.”
“Ah, it’s an elleth problem.”
Blushing, she nodded.
“Well since I am not an elleth or your daer naneth, I definitely cannot be of help. Perhaps the Lady Sadi?”
“No, She is not married but I am grateful for your concern.”
“Well then, I will leave you to your thoughts.”
She nodded and wandered on down to the boulder and sat down drawing her feet up and resting her arms and head on her knees.
Celeborn watched her dejected figure and reached out to Galadriel. *Meleth nin, I believe Amarie has need of an older and wiser elleth to help her with a problem. *
*Ind nin, what is the problem? *
*I don’t know but she indicated she needed her grandmother and said Sadi was not married. *
*Oh. * * She may not welcome advise from Elrond’s mother in law, ind nin. *
*Possibly, but there does not seem to be anyone else for her to turn to here. *
*Very well, I will try to be as discrete as I can. *
*I know, meleth nin. *
As Amarie pondered her problem she felt the now familiar touch of Galadriel brush across her mind.
*Mae Govannen, pen veil nin.
Startled Amarie sat straight up and answered *My Lady, I am honored. *
*But you are puzzled by my endearment? *
*Yes. *
*I have a favor to ask of you and I hope you will grant it. *
*If I can. *
*I am lonely for family, particularly sell nin and would ask you to let me act as your naneth, or daer naneth. I know we all find this situation a bit strange but you and I could help each other by doing so. You may have questions you would ask of an older, more experienced elleth but hesitate because of who and where you now find your self. I know from personal experience how difficult it is to find someone who can be discrete and will not take advantage of such a situation. It will also let me feel useful as a mother again, albeit a nosy one and your little ones may appreciate having daer odhron as well. I can be helpful if you wish to discuss matters regarding your pregnancy. I long for little ones to spoil once more now that the twins and Arwen are grown. They are so sweet at that age. And lastly, it will further indicate Celeborn’s and my approval of your union with Elrond. We do consider him our son. Would you consider such an arrangement? *
*Lord Celeborn asked you to help me, didn’t he? * She responded embarrassed.
*Truthfully, yes. But this is something I had been thinking about for some time. I just hadn’t decided when or how to broach it to you. I am thankful for the opportunity now. *
Amarie sat there a long time before answering. *My lady, I will admit there are things I would like to ask but hesitate to do so because I would not embarrass or cause problems for Elrond. If you can help with those, I would be most grateful, but this one…… *
*Amarie, forgive me but I sensed what it is that troubles you. I will have to show you other techniques that will let you better shield yourself and your thoughts. Your barriers must be stronger for your own safety as well as those you love. We who hold great responsibility and power are targets for those who would sow trouble or discontent. With your permission I will do so later but let us deal with this other matter first. *
*My lady, I have so much now and I feel very selfish to want more. Elrond is good to me. I love him so much and I know he loves me. *
*It is not selfish to want to share the joy you shared before. *
*How do I tell him? *
*You don’t. You show him. *
*How?
*I believe I have the perfect answer. There is a very private location near Imladris where our daer ionnath have been building a private retreat they intend to present to the both of you as a wedding gift. I think with a little help from hervenn nin we can arrange a little time away for the two of you now. We will use it to recreate one of your favorite dreams. It will be up to you to let him know what you desire from him. *
*My lady, you are brilliant! *
*I am, aren’t I? *
Both joined in laughter.
*Amarie, mell nin, seek out hervenn nin later this evening. By then we will have the beginnings of a plan. *
*I will, my lady and thank you. *
*Now to the other matter of shielding…*
Meleth-love
Ind nin-my heart
Elleth-female elf
Bar-Meneg-Mir-Lain-house of a thousand jeweled threads
Ellon-male elf
Meldir-male friend
Mae govannen-well met, a greeting
Meleth nin-my love
Pen veil nin –dear one
Naneth-mother
Daer naneth-grandmother
Daer ionnath-grand sons
Mell nin-my dear
And then it dawned on her. In all of this, the out right passion of their dreams was missing. Amarie frowned.
Suddenly aware of her unease Elrond put down the manuscript on his desk in the small library and reached out.
*Ind nin, what troubles you? *
Across in her workroom where she was preparing a cartoon Amarie hesitated then carefully shielded that part of her thoughts from him. This was something she had to think through more carefully before discussing it with him. She may be unrealistically expecting in real life what she had found in the dream world.
*A momentary frustration with the progress of my design, meleth, I will have to do some revising, I think. * She sighed.
*Is that all, Ind nin? * Elrond frowned.
*No, meleth, but it is nothing for you to be concerned with. I am merely pondering a number of things and if they need the attention of the Lord of Imladris I will bring them to his notice, *
He smiled. *And what of your lover? *
*Him, too. *
*Are you sure there is nothing I can do to help you resolve this? *
He paused, then nodding his head, *Very well, ind nin, I will let you deal with it but if it is something I can help with, I expect you to let me know. *
She smiled as the last thread of his thoughts crossed her mind before their contact faded.
*Pregnant elleths are always full of contradictions. *
Staring back down at the cartoon in front of her she studied it with a critical eye. In spite of what she had told Elrond she was pleased with the design. It was a depiction of one of their dreams. A shadowy elleth and ellon embracing and lying on a bed in a roofed pavilion surrounded by swirling currents in shades of blues, purples and gold. Above, the dark night sky was covered with stars. This was to be her wedding gift to him in two months time and she hoped to get started on it herself as soon as the loom could be set up and threaded. Luckily they had brought a couple of the smaller looms including the one that the four seasons set had been produced on. How fitting it would most likely be the one used for this one as well.
Deciding she had done as much as she could for now, Amarie put her things away and entered the workrooms beyond.
“Beran,” she called out to one of the artisans working on threading one of the very large looms, “will you set up loom number seven in my workroom?”
He grinned and nodded. “You finished the design then?”
“Yes.”
“If you like I can set up the thread as well. I will need the cartoon though.”
She blushed, “No I will do that. It is a surprise and I don’t want any knowledge to slip out no matter how innocent.”
“My lady,” he said seriously, “You need not worry about that. If it depicts a personal thing between you and Lord Elrond, we would say nothing. We owe you both a great deal.”
Amarie smiled at his declaration. “I know you would not, meldir, but it is my gift to him and I want it to be all my effort.”
Nodding, Beran grinned and returned to his work.
Amarie sought her usual thinking place hoping she would not find Lord Celeborn there. She needed time to ponder what she had discovered earlier about her disquiet and he certainly was not someone she could discuss it with. She needed an older elleth she could approach who was both sensible and discreet. It was times like this she missed her grandmother. Fortunately he was just walking out the gate to return to the main house.
“Mae govannen, Amarie, It is nearly noon, will you join me for lunch today? “
“Thank you, no. I have some thinking to do.”
“Is it something I can help you with?”
“No,” she sighed, “what I need is my daer naneth.”
“Ah, it’s an elleth problem.”
Blushing, she nodded.
“Well since I am not an elleth or your daer naneth, I definitely cannot be of help. Perhaps the Lady Sadi?”
“No, She is not married but I am grateful for your concern.”
“Well then, I will leave you to your thoughts.”
She nodded and wandered on down to the boulder and sat down drawing her feet up and resting her arms and head on her knees.
Celeborn watched her dejected figure and reached out to Galadriel. *Meleth nin, I believe Amarie has need of an older and wiser elleth to help her with a problem. *
*Ind nin, what is the problem? *
*I don’t know but she indicated she needed her grandmother and said Sadi was not married. *
*Oh. *
*Possibly, but there does not seem to be anyone else for her to turn to here. *
*Very well, I will try to be as discrete as I can. *
*I know, meleth nin. *
As Amarie pondered her problem she felt the now familiar touch of Galadriel brush across her mind.
*Mae Govannen, pen veil nin.
Startled Amarie sat straight up and answered *My Lady, I am honored. *
*But you are puzzled by my endearment? *
*Lord Celeborn asked you to help me, didn’t he? * She responded embarrassed.
*Truthfully, yes. But this is something I had been thinking about for some time. I just hadn’t decided when or how to broach it to you. I am thankful for the opportunity now. *
Amarie sat there a long time before answering. *My lady, I will admit there are things I would like to ask but hesitate to do so because I would not embarrass or cause problems for Elrond. If you can help with those, I would be most grateful, but this one…… *
*Amarie, forgive me but I sensed what it is that troubles you. I will have to show you other techniques that will let you better shield yourself and your thoughts. Your barriers must be stronger for your own safety as well as those you love. We who hold great responsibility and power are targets for those who would sow trouble or discontent. With your permission I will do so later but let us deal with this other matter first. *
*My lady, I have so much now and I feel very selfish to want more. Elrond is good to me. I love him so much and I know he loves me. *
*It is not selfish to want to share the joy you shared before. *
*How do I tell him? *
*You don’t. You show him. *
*My lady, you are brilliant! *
Both joined in laughter.
*Amarie, mell nin, seek out hervenn nin later this evening. By then we will have the beginnings of a plan. *
*I will, my lady and thank you. *
*Now to the other matter of shielding…*
Meleth-love
Ind nin-my heart
Elleth-female elf
Bar-Meneg-Mir-Lain-house of a thousand jeweled threads
Ellon-male elf
Meldir-male friend
Mae govannen-well met, a greeting
Meleth nin-my love
Pen veil nin –dear one
Naneth-mother
Daer naneth-grandmother
Daer ionnath-grand sons
Mell nin-my dear
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.
