Another Lord of the Mary Sues: 1. How insanity begins...

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1. How insanity begins...

Another Lord of the Mary Sues

Chapter 1

It was a Thursday night and me, Lala, and my friend Sven were chatting via internet. It was almost 12 o´clock and tomorrow was school, but hey, who cares ?^^

Lala: So, I just made this “Were-would-you-live-in-Middle earth(ME)-test”. It was awesome! Though I had to make it 7 times until I finally got Minas Tirith…
Were would you wanna live?

Sven: Tell me, why do you girls make a test THAT often, only to get the
result you want to get? That´s mad…But I of course, would live…damn, I can´t decide……ask me later.

Lala: Ooh, don´t start with that again. You always tell me to ask you later, hoping that I´ll forget it. You boys are all the same!

Sven: *rolling eyes*

Lala: Wait a moment, telephone´s ringing…

Sven: *whistleing patiently*

Lala: Re! Guess who called me?

Sven: Who the hell is phoning you at this time??

Lala: It was Carina. She told me that she couldn´t sleep and then had this “ wonderful” dream of Orlando Bloom. *rolls eyes* Tell me, how can she dream of him when she´s sleepless?

Sven: Daydreaming of course. She´s nuts about this blooming guy; don´t ask me why.

Lala: Yeah, I don´t understand it either. I hate these fangirls: Aaaaaaahh, Legolas , I want an autogramm! Uuuh, please, could you kiss me? Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase, shoot me, shoot me!! That´s mad.

Sven: Mad? It´s already pretty close to be sad.

Lala: *laughing* You´re right. Thank Valar, that I´m not like this!

Sven: Sure, of COURSE not….oh, look there, isn´t it Boromir??

Lala: Where? WHERE?? *drool*

Sven laughing: What did you say? Wasn´t it like, er…thank Valar, I´m not like this?? *grin*

Lala: Hrrmmpf. Fool of a Took. Let´s change the topic.

Sven: Hrhr. So what do you wanna talk about? The ME weather? I heard it´s kinda cloudy in the Mordor- region.

Lala: Are you asleep yet? Don´t start talking like in one of those Mary Sue stories. What next? A flash of light to hit our computers and transport us to ME? That´s sooooooooo ridicu….
But Lala never finished her sentence. A stream of light hit her computer and she lost her conscience…

Sven: Ah, there we are, finally. *grin* I don´t know how I came here, but this place looks hardly like my room…much bigger and somehow…..ME-iger. And how come lil´Lala lays here?

Lala *waking up*: Uuuh, what was that? Who am I? Where are we? O_o

Sven: I´m pretty sure you´re still Lala. But I guess I can´t answer your second question.

Lala looked around. They were in a forest, but the trees didn´t look familiar, somehow. She heared a waterfall nearby and not far away she could make out a little path.

Lala: Let´s set off to that path there and look for someone. This HAS to be a dream….

Sven: Hmm, nice dream. And so realistic somehow…Do you dream of me oftener?

Lala: Stupid fool of a…Whatever. Do you come with me or do you want to sit there until you become a tree?

Sven: I would follow you to the everburning fires of Mordor. *ranted*

Lala: What a coincidence! That´s where I live actually. I have a sweet little apartment in Barad Dur and in my garden grow ash-roses and brimstone-lilies. I also have a pet, it´s an orc which I call Fluffy.
She angrily began to stomp to the path, with the intention to find out where it lead.

Sven followed hear, saying something like “dahooo!” to himself.
After a few minutes of walking they reached a strange looking house with a strange looking door, with lots of ornaments and symbols on it.
Lala: Knock on the door!

Sven: Your word is my order! Knock, knock, knocking on heavens door…nah, that was something different.
They waited. After what seemend a century the door slowly opened. And behind it stood an…..elf.
Sven: Hi there!

Lala: What the….???? *faints*

Sven, ignoring Lala fainting: Could you tell us where we are? We are… rather confused.

Elfguy, also “rather confused”: Well, you just knoched on the gates of Imladris, also known as Rivendell, ruled by Lord Elrond.
Lala: Whaaaaaaat??

Sven: What what?

Lala: Are you deaf? He just said we´re in Rivendell! That means we are…we are in…

Elfguy looks even more confused. So does Sven.
Lala: We´re in ME, you idiot!

Sven: Oh, in Me… ME?? WHAT THE…..?

Lala, satisfied that Sven finally also got panicky: But how? I mean….That´s impossible! This can only be one of my weird dreams!

Elfguy: My lady, I can assure you this is no dream. Although some of us wished it was one.

Sven: Shut up, you….Elfguy. So Lala, is this your or mine dream?

Lala: I dunno….Wait, did you also see this flash light?

Sven: Well, yes. This is strange, isn´t it?

Lala: Oh my gosh, we´re Mary Sues! I never thought I´ll say that someday…

Sven: I am definitely NO Mary Sue. I don´t like this dream…let me try…He takes his out his pocket knife and cuts himself. Sven: Ouch!

Lala: Oh no, that means this is real! Ok, don´t panick, everything´s alright…*looks rather crazy and starts to hyperventilate* We need to get back home. But first we need a place to rest…

Sven, sucking his finger: Damn…What did you say?

Lala: We need a roof above us!!

Sven: Ok, hey Elfguy, step aside please, you heard the lady.

Elfguy: I´m not allowed to let any strangers in, unless it is very important. These
are dangerous times.

Sven: It IS important! WE are important!

Lala: Yeah, I´m sure your master will be very interested in two teenagers, who don´t have a clue where they are!

Sven: How come you know his master.

Lala: Duh, I read the books? I saw the movie? I have a longtime-memory
unlike another person here?

Suddenly the elfguy bows deeply as someone comes nearer. A beautiful she-elf is seen.
Lala: Valar! I think that´s……that´s Arwen Undómiel!

Arwen, to the elfguy: What´s going on here?

Sven, to Lala: Right, what´s going on here?

Lala: That´s Arwen, the daughter of Elrond and the fiancée of Aragorn, remember??

Arwen looks at them, hearing their whispers.
Arwen: So tell me, what do you do here, far away from home, as I may think?

Lala: My Lady you are right, we´re far away from home and don´t know the back. It would be very grateful of you to let us rest the night in here. We are friends, I can assure you. I heard much of your father, as he is considered to be the wisest among elves and men. I f we could talk to him, maybe he a solution for our problem.

Sven: And you really think they will just let us talk to their boss? They won´t be THAT stupid, we could be assesins, or spies or…

Arwen: Come with me, little strangers, I´ll take you to my father!

Lala: See! Maybe this Elrondguy knows how we can get home again, into the real world.

Sven: Well…this could be the real world. Ever thought about it?

Lala: Shut up, if this was the real world there would be a book about our world here. And now let´s not talk about it any longer, it confuses me even more and makes me wish I never let me convince from you, that midnight is NOT to late to chat!

Sven: What´s wrong with chating at midnight? ….Oh, hi elfguy!

Arwen: This is my father, Elrond. Ada, these two strangers want to talk to you. They say they lost their way home.

Sven: Yo Elrond. It´s true, we somehow lost our way, we don´t even know how we came here…Ever heard of another world? The real world?

Elrond: O.o Do you want to tell me you are from another world?

Lala: Exactly. We were just talking with each other at the inter…, errr whatever, when we suddenly saw a light and ended up here. We thought you could perhaps help us and let us stay the night?

Elrond: I guess you could use some sleep…probably you drank to much…Arwen, lead them to a room in the east- wing!

Arwen brought them to two rooms and wished them a good night.
Lala: Well, I hope I´ll wake up tomorrow and find out all this was just a dream! `night!

So, what do you think? Hate it? Love it? Tell me! Chapter 2 soon.^^

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Lala Adanwen

Status: General

Completion: Work in Progress

Era: 3rd Age - Ring War

Genre: Humor

Rating: General

Last Updated: 10/10/06

Original Post: 10/10/06

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Forums linked to the story

Writing Mary Sue: the Mother of Challenges - 424 posts

This forum is for all those who are considering entering the Mary Sue Challenge, or who are interested in it but perhaps somewhat timid. Questions about this challenge? Questions about plotlines you're working on? Any insights from the experienced OFC writers among us as to how to go about addressing some of the challenges of this particular genre?

I'm setting this up by character: so if you're dealing with Legolas, go to the Legolas topic; Faramir writers, create a Faramir topic; Boromir, etc. There is also one main thread that's a melange where we can talk about more general plot points.

Come, share your high points and your hang ups, and get that story written!

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