The Goose: 1. The Goose

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1. The Goose

Once upon a time, there was a goose.

Now you might think, might you not?--this being a fairy tale and all, that this goose laid golden eggs.

Not so.  The goose laid eggs of every description--not just silver or copper, but ruby, glass, crystal and pearl.  She also laid eggs of thistle and feather and other peculiar or even disgusting substances.  She laid no eggs of gold, however, though occasionally there might be a filigree of gold on some of the more elaborate jeweled eggs.

The elf-women who tended the goose cared not at all about golden eggs, but loved the eggs they received.  Some brave souls even pulled on gloves and tore into the thistle-eggs to find the gem at the core, though it might be but a tiny garnet egg nestled amongst the prickles.

The fame of the goose spread far and wide.  A man, an agent by trade, heard of the goose.

"If only," he thought, "this goose could produce golden eggs!  How rich I could be!"

He went to the goose-women and said, "Lend me your goose.  I wish to produce golden eggs."

The goose-women said, "We have no need of golden eggs.  We love our eggs of ruby and glass, of crystal and pearl.  We even love our eggs of thistle.  If you wish golden eggs, please take our advice, for we have cared for this goose many years, and know her well."

"Advice!" cried the man.  "Yes, advice.  That is just what is needed."

And with that, he seized the goose and dashed off to his group of cronies.

"Gentlemen," he said, "Ah, gentlemen and madam," he hastened to add, for there was a woman among the other agents.  "Please gather around this goose.  If you take my advice, we will be wealthy, and have all the golden eggs we need!"

So they took to prodding and poking the goose, and feeding her all manner of items, both healthy and not, in hopes of gaining eggs of gold.

Finally, the goose reared up.  She spread her wings to the fullest, and screamed at the agents and bit them.  Snap! her wings came down and she sprang into the air and flew straight back to her waiting tenders.

The End

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: DrummerWench

Status: General

Completion: Complete

Era: Other

Genre: Humor

Rating: General

Last Updated: 06/10/07

Original Post: 06/10/07

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The Goose

Gandalfs apprentice - 12 Jun 07 - 10:26 AM

Ch. 1: The Goose

Told with your usual wit and folklorish panache! 

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