Five Things That Never Happened to Sauron: 1. Five Things That Never Happened to Sauron

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1. Five Things That Never Happened to Sauron

Lies in Eregion (143 words without "u")

From the high stone city walls, Annatar watched two large birds of prey circling majestically above the plains. The cool breeze played with the loose strands of his black hair, making them writhe like dark snakes.

'I remember the eagles of Manwë bringing me tidings from my beloved Aman when I travelled in the east,' he spoke pensively to his companion. 'Once, one of them bore me on his back all the way from the Great Sea , to where Eönwë the Maia lived after the War of the Jewels.'

'The Herald?' Celebrimbor regarded his companion warily. 'I last saw him when Mandos spoke the Doom of the North.' He shivered.

'A long time ago, we called each other friends,' replied Annatar. A hint of sadness crossed his fair face and he shook his head. 'No longer. I belong to the Gwaith-i-Mírdain now.'

Folly at the Sammath Naur (132 words without "i")

Sauron stared at the small band of gold that gleamed on the table, no more than a harmless jewel to those who knew not the truth about the power he had conjured and poured for days. When all had been done, he had staggered, weak and exhausted from the effort.

Dared the Dark Lord be cloven from the enormous potency he had crafted to sway and rule lesser creatures? Dared he separate power born before the remote days of the Song from the command of one's purpose and thought?

What utter folly, to have ever contemplated such a plan!

A moment later, the round metal band was flung away and fell down to be melted by the stream of lava. Sauron drank back all the power he had ceded.

All was well.

Misjudgement in Umbar (120 words without "o")

'A snake must be crushed if it may still bite. A wise strategist like Annatar surely agrees with me that this may be an inevitable measure when handling a vanquished enemy?' The King smiled wickedly.

His retinue laughed heartily at the jest, while the chained man held kneeling at his feet by the guards snarled in harmless fury. Never had Annatar's carefully crafted plans failed as utterly as this time.

The reward was rich; the risk had seemed acceptable. He had surrendered near Umbar, safe in the belief that the king might humiliate him but never kill him.

He briefly felt pain when the axe split his carnal shape; freed, he flew away, a dark spirit wrathfully swearing revenge.

Victory for Mirkwood (113 words without "a")

The King of Mirkwood whispered hot words of desire, while he nibbled soft, flushed skin. He smiled mischievously when he felt his helpless lover, bound by the wrists to the bedposts, squirm deliciously under his touch. His fingers moved lower until they found keen, stirring flesh. Spurred by the wild eyes, by the incoherent cries of his prisoner, he bent down to first kiss, then devour his prize. Suddenly, he stopped.

'More!' yelled his helpless victim.

'Do you yield?' queried the king sternly.

'I do, I do! Dol Guldur is yours, O King…' conceded the sorcerer.

Oropher's son renewed his efforts. 'Slowly,' he reminded himself, smiling secretly.

No, he would not rush victory.

Call to Aman (128 words without "e")

'Will you go, Mairon?' you ask anxiously.

Will I? I doubt it, but…

Long ago, Moringotto was a fair lord, a light dazzling as stars, an alluring song of shrill chords within our grand music. I sang with him, happy and proud, until I found I had sunk into a foul abyss far from joy, and my wish was to bring back my past.

War was fought and lost, my lord struck down by yours. All I hold now is my wisdom, dark as it may look to you, my kin of old.

You bid that I go to Aman and ask for pardon, that I throw away all that I built, abandon what I fought for, right or wrong.

Do I wish to do that?

'I will.'


For any cryptography geeks amongst you (I count myself as one), these are the vowel frequencies in The Silmarillion (ignoring accent symbols): E (13.08%) A (8.40%) O (7.59%) I (5.75%) U (2.43%).

This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.

Story Information

Author: Russandol

Status: Reviewed

Completion: Complete

Era: Multi-Age

Genre: General

Rating: Adult

Last Updated: 01/05/12

Original Post: 09/20/10

Go to Five Things That Never Happened to Sauron overview


WARNING! Comments may contain spoilers for a chapter or story. Read with caution.

Five Things That Never Happened to Sauron

Azalais - 30 Nov 10 - 5:23 AM

Ch. 1: Five Things That Never Happened to Sauron

I am awed by the sheer technical achievement of this. 

What particularly strikes me is that if you hadn't stated the vowel restrictions in the titles of the pieces, I don't think I would have noticed - there's nothing awkward or forced about the writing or the word choices. The mark of a really gifted writer - to make something very difficult look as easy as falling off a log ;-)

And you actually made me feel sorry for Sauron, which is quite an achievement... Bravo!

Five Things That Never Happened to Sauron

Russandol - 30 Nov 10 - 1:13 PM

Ch. 1: Five Things That Never Happened to Sauron

Thanks for your generous comment, Azalais. It certainly was a challenge, but also quite fun to  write in different tenses or in ways I would not have thought about, just to avoid the use of each letter. I'm very pleased you thought it didn't feel forced.

And yes, poor Sauron, all those AU episodes must have freaked him out. Thanks again!

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