1. Archer's Paradox
Author's Note: I strongly recommend reading A Mirkwood Spider Landed On My Front Porch before reading this tale. Not much will make sense without having read that.
When Fandoms Collide
By Nieriel Raina
My life had got a bit dull, a little too routine. I know I shouldn't have expected it would last, but with the spider on extended vacation (Okay, I honestly don't know where she went!) writing has been out of the question. Oh my character roomies are still hanging about. It's never completely quiet, but actual progress on a story line? Not happening.
At least not until something happened that I so didn't expect. The unthinkable!
I fell in love with another fandom. Whodathunk it?
It was really unplanned, and to be honest, I fought it completely and had no desire to go there at all. But a certain elfling (who shall remain unnamed) insisted I watch Thor, and then demanded (okay, after Thor it didn't take much persuasion) that I go see The Avengers. And the next thing I knew, I had a handsome (devastatingly so) SHIELD archer/master assassin on my doorstep.
From the moment he knocked (Clint is always so polite and never demands, just quietly insists in a manner I simply cannot resist), I was swept completely off my feet. Seems I have a thing for sexy archers in general and not just platinum blond ones. This one also arrived with a red-headed sidekick, though I've never had the guts to say that to her face. She'd kick my ass. And probably my head. But they were so cute together I had to invite them in. I had no idea what kind of disaster that would cause! Or the confrontation that would follow when I suddenly found myself writing Avengers fan fiction, of all things.
It started with a shove, causing Clint's eyes to flare with annoyance. Never a good thing. "Watch it, Blondie," Clint says, shaking off Legolas's grip.
But Legolas is too angry to speak calmly or rationally. He's just like his dad sometimes. "She is mine," he snarls, glaring daggers at Clint. "She has always been mine. I arrived before—" he gestures behind him at the conglomeration of characters sitting around my living room (it's a tight fit these days) watching the confrontation — "all the others, even the damned spider."
Who knew the elf could be so protective? And I admit, I'm kind of liking that possessive tone of his! Makes a girl's heart go all mushy and pitter pattery.
Clint blinks several times, as if only now seeing the others present, then turns to me with that questioning look of his.
I shrug. "They come and go. Not seen some of them in quite a while." I frown at them. "They like a good show, though, so there they are." I point, and sure enough Erestor is passing a huge bowl of popcorn to Gimli. Natasha, sitting beside the dwarf and showing interest only in the entertainment value, reaches in to grab a handful. Somehow I'm both surprised and shocked that the assassin and the dwarf have hit it off. Guess they have more in common than just red hair.
Clint glares back at Legolas. "And just who are you?"
"I'm Legolas, Prince of the Woodland Realm of Eryn Lasgalen and Lord of Ascarnen in Ithilien."
"That's quite a mouthful," Clint replies, then freezes as the name registers. "Did you say Legolas?"
Clint's eyes narrow dangerously before he spins, drawing and releasing an arrow so fast even Legolas is impressed, and which Tony Stark just manages to avoid, mainly because Glorfindel jerks him out of the way. "Do not EVER call me that again!"
"How was I to know he was real?" Tony asks.
"None of you are real," I mumble, but of course they aren't listening to me.
"Well, we're kind of real," Pippin whispers, and I jerk around wondering when the hell the Hobbits got here. Elves, Men, Dwarves, a Vala or two… Okay sure, but Hobbits?
"We wanted to be in this one," he says as if that explains it all. "You know, The Fellowship joins the Avengers?"
"Oh dear God," I moan.
"I must admit, I like that idea," Boromir inserts.
"Now wait just a minute…" Clint isn't going to take this well. He prefers things quiet and peaceful and with this crowd it's sure to be anything but!
"Hold on, Barton," Tony jumps in. "Maybe we could use them. Those droid bot thingys can be a pain to take out."
Clint just stares at him blandly before deadpanning, "And knives and swords are going to stop them?"
Stark lifts a brow. "You carry a freaking bow, Robin Hood. Don't think the medieval weaponry argument is going to work on this one."
"Oh let them come," Natasha adds with a devious expression. "It could be fun."
"You and I have different definitions of the word "fun"," Clint says.
She just smirks. Gimli guffaws. Legolas glares.
"I am not sharing her," Legolas points at me, "with another fandom!"
"Not to state the obvious," Bruce interrupts, "but it doesn't look as if you have much of a choice."
"We sure didn't," Steve looks a bit put out. Maybe because Legolas is prettier than he is.
Legolas shakes his head. "She has not yet finished the works she has begun, tales worthy of Middle-earth…"
"Hey, Katniss, I think you mean girly romance stories that were getting sappier by the chapter."
Both Legolas and I both glare at Tony for that comment. "They aren't sappy," I say.
Legolas just gives me a panicked side glance. "Romance?" he asks.
I shrug. "You know I'm a sucker for a good Legomance!"
"You already wrote one!"
"There can never be too many?"
"Bojemoi!" Natasha mutters. "Obviously the poor woman needed us if she was reduced to writing romance."
Clint and I both give her a dry look, and now it's her turn to look panicked. "No. Please tell me you're not…"
And so it begins….
To Be Continued…
Author's Note: I make no promises on frequency of updates. This stuff usually only comes late at night when I'm sleep deprived and experiencing some serious writer's block (also known as procrastination). This stuff is raw, unbeta'd and if you take it seriously, you have got more issues than I do and that's saying a lot. Happy reading!
Oh, and while the spider is MIA, there is a Hulk here now and he likes the reviews so… *raises brow* Don't piss him off, k?
This is a work of fan fiction, written because the author has an abiding love for the works of J R R Tolkien. The characters, settings, places, and languages used in this work are the property of the Tolkien Estate, Tolkien Enterprises, and possibly New Line Cinema, except for certain original characters who belong to the author of the said work. The author will not receive any money or other remuneration for presenting the work on this archive site. The work is the intellectual property of the author, is available solely for the enjoyment of Henneth Annûn Story Archive readers, and may not be copied or redistributed by any means without the explicit written consent of the author.