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Comments for: The Princess and the Horse Lord

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3 Comments

 
 

The Princess and the Horse Lord

telpethoniel - 16 Dec 06 - 2:21 AM

Ch. 24: Family Matters

YAY!!! Your quick! I'm totally loving this :P

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The Princess and the Horse Lord

Raihon - 16 Dec 06 - 8:59 AM

Ch. 24: Family Matters

Okay, Oshun, you've got me completely hooked now. The conventional romance first half has turned into something really intriguing that I find much more compelling (though the earlier chapters were quite entertaining and engrossing on their own terms). I hope you don't lose your other readers on this turn!

Where are you going with this?!? I am extremely eager to find out. The "Feanorian misstep" line is like an itch in my brain that won't go away.

The only thing that's bugging me in these last two chapters is that you liberally switch POV, yet we have no insight into what the heck Lothiriel thinks she's doing. We get to see what's going on in everyone else's head, but we don't get to understand the motivations or reservations or concerns of the prime mover in these scenes, at least not where her key choice was concerned in the last chapter. This is frustrating and feels a little wrong to me.

Oh, an the family breakfast scene had me laughing out loud, several times. Very nice.

Patiently awaiting more,

Raihon

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The Princess and the Horse Lord

oshun - 16 Dec 06 - 9:39 AM

Ch. 24: Family Matters

Raihon:

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your thoughtful comments. The first 1/3 of the next chapter is in the POVs of Elladan/Arwen. After that the next several chapters are about nothing else but Lothíriel's perspective on the personal and political mess she has made for herself. Part of the drama/comedy in these couple of chapters is that Arwen (who has cast her lot with the political reality of the new world) is the only one who seems primarily interested in such questions--the rest of them are worried about everything from Elladan's psychological well-being to ancient (family) history. There is a distinctly "real world" slant on the way that families interact and less of the epic/heroic slant that one usually finds in fantasy novels. I appreciate your comments greatly on losing readers by taking off from the formula romance genre here. I did lose readers along the way (early on), but to my pleasant surprise I have kept a lot of them and gained some new ones who would not have otherwise been particularly interested in the story.

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