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Comments for: Never Speak Nor Sing

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2 Comments

 
 

Never Speak Nor Sing

ghettoelleth - 21 May 07 - 7:17 AM

Ch. 2: Vanya

I find your attempt to write in English, a language which, it is painfully obvious, is not your native tongue, commendable.  However, perhaps if you abaondon your abuse of the Thesaurus and David Salo, and simply tried to write a palatable tale, it would read more like fiction and less like an attempt to cram in every obscure word from the lexicon you can manage.  The writing is sterile, the characterizations dry and the entire affair seemingly endless.

Ultimately, writing is about enjoying yourself and transporting the reader, not impressing Webster.

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Never Speak Nor Sing

Adaneth - 21 May 07 - 4:06 PM

Ch. 2: Vanya

Ghettoelleth, I think you are mistaking the deliberate attempt to write in a different mode and flavor of English--something Tolkien did a lot--for labored (because not fully competent) English.

As a lover of obscure words myself (having caught the thing from J.R.R.), I appreciate the subtly different meanings and worldview they give.  These are supposed to be very different cultures from ours, and very different people--using unfamiliar words, or familiar words strangely, is an effective way to keep the reader from thinking these characters are exactly like us.

But it's not to everyone's taste, the same way that the flatter tuning of a bagpipe makes it sound like tortured cats to some people, or the notes of "creosote" in a fine single malt scotch offend the palates of others.  If you do like this kind of thing, though, this is a masterly example, tantalizingly harsh and richly dark.

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