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9 Comments

 
 

The Chronicles of The Kelvar

ziggy - 06 Apr 12 - 12:52 PM

Ch. 1: Witness to Arrival

You have just caught that voice of the great Shadowfaxe perfectly! That lovely cross between arrogance and curiosity seems just right- and I love the language and phrases so it's very much from a horse perspective, and the Mearas no less! Great irony too.

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The Chronicles of The Kelvar

ziggy - 27 May 12 - 12:29 PM

Ch. 2: Negotiations Begin

ANother really wonderful chapter, AIwendiel. You have caught the voice so well- and the perceptions of horses are very credible. Lovely writing as always, and it 'feels' lie Tolkien could really have written this

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The Chronicles of The Kelvar

ziggy - 27 May 12 - 12:39 PM

Ch. 4: Into The Wind

I love it when skiful writers fill in the gaps and this is not only orginal and deals with a part of the story that few writers consider, it is adone, as always with deftness and gorgeous sense of character. The loftiness of Shadowfax and his arrogance is tempered by his concern  and increasing understanding of what they face. I really like the way you have used particular phrases fo rhtings, the Gold-Hairs, cinching the rope tighter. Tje details such as Gandalf's stiffness as he dismounts and the lack of food are some of the things that give this its credibility.

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Aiwendiel - 28 May 12 - 7:30 AM

Ch. 4: Into The Wind

Thanks for your appreciation and attention, zig! I am particularly glad you like Shadowfax's "voice."  as you might have noticed for the very beginning, the dates for Shadowfax to be the narrator are from 18.9.3018 to 30.9.3018, so other narrators (totallyOC) will pick up the tale.. Or tail, shall we say? Shadow fax has a few more things to tells but he can't have seen the whole thing thru to Oct 18 when G arrived in Rivendell... So stay tuned! I have already dropped a hint as to the nature of one of the other Kelvar tale-tellers... But that's another couple of chapters away... Thanks again!

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The Chronicles of The Kelvar

ziggy - 16 Aug 12 - 12:36 AM

Ch. 5: Coarse-Mannered Ponies and Hole Dwellers

I love this defamilarisation of fields and what we consider to be lovely countryside as being cut up and spoiled- that was a really intersting idea, just what I expect from you! And the fat sluggish little ponies, barely awake- lovely! Shadwofax's voice continues as strong and as arrogant and very young actually, as before. Great idea!

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The Chronicles of The Kelvar

ziggy - 16 Aug 12 - 12:41 AM

Ch. 6: Many Words, Few To The Point

This is a triumph! Socks is just gorgeous and has just he right Shire-daccent! Love this turn of phrase but especially the perception of the Nazgul and Gandalf and their differences.

"Where you be a'from, stranger?" I asked, real polite and all. And that horse, he did nothing, nothing at all. I mighta been talkin' to a black statue carved of a block of black stone. "Yer Master's mighty strange," I continued, nickering in a low voice, in case his Master might overhear… though, o'course, his Master wouldn'a understood the speech of us beasts. But I was just being careful, you see.

This time, that big black horse seemed to notice that I'd spoken to 'im. And, I'll admit, I wished that he hadn't. For he turned toward me and set those dark eyes on me. I felt caught by them, as if whatever spell he lay under was trying to catch me too! Them eyes, that a minute ago had been dull as dust were suddenly blazing. I swear I saw a flicker of fire—real fire, I tell ye—curling out from his nostrils, as if he were half horse and half dragon.

And then the look of longing and pain...so even the horses, like slaves to the Dark Lord. are a littlelike the elves corrupted into orcs.

Absolutely breathtakingly good!

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The Chronicles of The Kelvar

ziggy - 16 Aug 12 - 1:27 AM

Ch. 7: For A While, Hope Left

For the first time I really appreciate what happened in Frodo's wake in the Shire- brilliantly written.

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The Chronicles of The Kelvar

ziggy - 16 Aug 12 - 2:22 AM

Ch. 8: A Night's Sleep, Interrupted

Alas, we horses are not patient creatures. It is a trial to us to be immobile. Our legs itch, our tails twitch and our noses tingle if we are forced to hold our flesh in stillness. E'en in sleep, many a horse will stand upright rather than lie, for we find comfort in the texture of the grass beneath our hooves and in the readiness of our limbs for flight.

Just that intense understnading of what it is to be a horse- how true! And I love the reaction to the Prancing Pony!

Her green-gold eyes flickered briefly in my direction, and then she stifled a yawn. Next the insolent creature took the time to stretch languorously from the tip of her front paws to the end of her long tail, all the while balanced upon the narrow wooden wall. I sputtered impatiently at her manner of supreme indolence and haughty superiority. Finally the cat turned and stared directly into my eyes.

"Shadowfax, is it? Hmm… Never heard of you," she said. "Must not be from around here…"

Made me laugh too- that pricked his pride!

And I am very flattered by the reference -and that a cat should use it , even more so. Love Mugwort - so quintessentially feline in every respect!

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The Chronicles of The Kelvar

ziggy - 16 Aug 12 - 2:35 AM

Ch. 9: The Battle of Amon Sul

I htink this is a wonderful chapter - and throughout the whole story, you have absolutely caught the essence of what it is to be these animlas and to give them a sense of completelness and character. You need a much wider audience than the narrow one you get here - I am shocked at how few reviews you have got. Post it on Faerie and even brave ffnet - it really needs to be out there, Aiwendiel.

I cried.

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