HASA Stories

Comments for: A Mortal Life

Talk to Aiwendiel

If you are a HASA member, you must login to submit a comment.

We're sorry. Only HASA members may post comments. If you would like to speak with the author, please use the "Email Author" button in the Reader Toolbox. If you would like to join HASA, click here. Membership is free.

36 Comments

 
 

A Mortal Life

curiouswombat - 08 Apr 12 - 4:35 PM

General Comment

What an excellent tale - I would like to think of him having this in his background.  No wonder, then, that he understands people, of all races, so well.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 14 Jul 13 - 6:06 PM

Ch. 1: A Prologue and Author's Explanation

I look forward to reading this more fully, for as you know I'm working on my own history of the Wizards, and particularly Olorin and Curumo.  The Hobbits managed to convert Men, Dwarves, and at least one and possibly two Wizards to pipe weed, we know.  (Remember that Saruman had at least a barrel of pipe weed in his stores in Isengard--wonder if he picked up the habit from Gandalf, or became convinced that it was somehow an enhancement to his magic?)  In my-verse the staff each Wizard carried held those portions of his memories not immediately needed for use in the guise of one of the Istari, and that this was why their breaking was devastating as they'd lose whatever knowledge and potential power they held in the staff.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 29 Jul 13 - 7:29 PM

Ch. 2: The Worth Of A Boy

Were he anyone else her estimation would have been right.  At least he found a metaphor that worked and is now in a position to heal.  I can see how being what he was could be less than comfortable at times.  And I'm glad that the boy returned with such help.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 29 Jul 13 - 9:50 PM

Ch. 3: A Quick Recovery

I'd say she's feeling scunnered, and with good reason.  Wizards make strange patients, but at least he's paying his debt in the coin he deals with best.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 29 Jul 13 - 10:00 PM

Ch. 4: A Stranger Passing Through

Okay.  Had wondered if such a scene might follow.  But at least Corli and Nod are now protected.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Aiwendiel - 30 Jul 13 - 6:47 AM

Ch. 4: A Stranger Passing Through

Thanks for your comments, Larner, and especially this one... (tries to stifle grin  You little devil!)... I am aware this version of an Istar settling into his mortality will not be to everyone's liking... and I should warn: it gets worse. And better, I hope. Or at least interesting! And so glad you found a silver lining, for yes, they are very much protected now... as long as they stay inside that shimmering blue net, of course...

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 02 Aug 13 - 4:10 PM

Ch. 6: The Arlindon Market

I'd wondered if she'd quickened.  I find I'm glad that she has.  I love his freeing of the slaves, and find myself wondering where he found the gold to free them.  Fairy gold, perhaps?  Or obtained from moles and other digging beasts?

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 02 Aug 13 - 4:45 PM

Ch. 7: The Road South

Ah, gee--expect women to think?  Hmm. What a novel thought!  Incanus is the only one in the whole bunch who does think, it appears!

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 3:09 AM

Ch. 8: A Sorcerer Revealed

Poor Gandalf!  Shorn smooth for the first time?  It must be a novel experience for him!  But I can appreciate his hatred for what he did.  Too bad about the archer and the boy.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 3:16 AM

Ch. 9: The Grey Man's Friends

She has both reason to be afraid, and later reason to change her mind.  Bless the animals!

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 3:19 AM

Ch. 10: Something Left Behind

Oh, dear--I hope the badger and the bear are up to facing this self-centered fool!

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 3:26 AM

Ch. 11: Not For Sale

Having to always be on guard like this would be wearing, at least.  I'm glad that the former slaves are fighting, too. 

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 3:38 AM

Ch. 12: The Healer's Touch

I agree that it is time to get out of that area.  The nearby people are too given to slavery.

And he's already tempted by another woman?  He is a Man now indeed!

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 3:53 AM

Ch. 13: The Plan

I can appreciate his confusion and his grief at what he appears to be now.  I hope he finds ease in his heart soon.  Now--to find the way around the Dead Marshes.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 11:59 AM

Ch. 14: Leaving The Net

Ah, good--the animals are aware of the situation and are able to take the initiative.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 12:05 PM

Ch. 15: News From The Sky

Oh, dear--this is more than they bargained for!  Now, for Gandalf to succor Corli and return to them before they burn his body with him still in this world.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 12:14 PM

Ch. 16: A Voice Like The Wind

Corli has been protected, but she should not remain alone right now.  At least Jarek is gone, with all of his malice with him.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 12:30 PM

Ch. 17: Incanus Awakens

I have the feeling that Nelika wishes services from Gandalf he might not wish to share!  Heh!  Poor guy!  And Kutumi has more to think on than he's ever thought on before.  Life ain't so easy here with Incanus as it is back home in their own lands.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 12:53 PM

Ch. 18: The Soldiers of Ithilien

Sometimes it is helpful to be a Maia within a Man's body, for one can heal from so very much!  Glad that he has new clothing now--he deserves more, of course.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 1:05 PM

Ch. 19: Honors Bestowed

I was wondering of this was all the prelude to such an evening!  And they stole his clothing, too?  Insult to insult!  Heh!  But he will be remembered--and with love.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

ziggy - 08 Apr 12 - 1:21 AM

Ch. 20: The One Who Walks In Dreams

I am so glad you have posted this, Aiwendiel. This is such a wonderful and rich story. You explore the nature of Olorin/ Gandalf in beautiful detail, exploring his emotions and powers in a way that is utterly credible and 'real' but never touched in canon. The relationships developed over time are gorgeously written and well worth reading - a reward to the reader is the lovely moment where Mithrandir does not quite understand the dance and then does - but I wont spoil it for new readers. I LOVE this chapter when he returns.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 8:58 PM

Ch. 20: The One Who Walks In Dreams

Well, he made it, even if Rubeo didn't.  Welcome home, Gandalf.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

ziggy - 08 Apr 12 - 1:37 AM

Ch. 21: The New Father

I love this quite intimate moment between Schlain and Gandalf - although it doesn't feel rightto call him Gandalf with his short hair and no beard! Love the bit where he says how curious they are about the baby (wont spoil it). I like that you have spent time here on the menfolk and their relationship - and of course, the grief that will come.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 9:37 PM

Ch. 21: The New Father

To know that you will outlive your child and all of your descendants as well as your beloved--that would indeed cause grief.  At least he understands well what he's been told by others who know!  Is it Earendil who told him this?  Or Manwe?

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

ziggy - 08 Apr 12 - 1:44 AM

Ch. 22: An Ordinary Life

 How beautiful your writing is:

'She wondered whether his voice had been part of that music, and then she knew beyond all doubt: it had been. Tears started in her eyes as her heart caught again like it had the first time he looked deeply into her soul.' 

And that vulnerabilty he has that the children can hurt him unintentionally s they grow older. And the great grief that I know now awaits me at the end of this. I hardly want to read on but I trust you, Aiwendiel, to soften it a little with a bit of hope.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 9:48 PM

Ch. 22: An Ordinary Life

The love is the important part, and that he can take and give in full, after all.  Bless them all!

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

ziggy - 08 Apr 12 - 2:00 AM

Ch. 23: Dire Circumstances

Ah, Aiwendiel - I need ot say again how very beautiful is your writing. Schlain is just a wonderful character - this is as good as anyhting I have ever read published or otherwise. The art of listening is very cleverly written here so there is no sense of reading, just knowing it is true- the best writing is when you forget you ar ereading- I am stumbling here over what I want to say but I think you know.

I LOVE the bit where they are discussing their 'indiscretions'! Olorin is a randy old dog and Sclain and he have this wonderful conversation that is just so normal even though they discuss things that are not normal for mortal men. 

And hte fourth child is special - so how much harder will it be when Gandalf is drawn back to his work. But I feel too that this was an important part of the preparation he undertakes- so he understands how mortals ive and how he will use themt o accomplish his great work. And that has its own sorrow too.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 10:00 PM

Ch. 23: Dire Circumstances

Corlin, then, is the true Wizard's son and pupil.  I rejoice that at least one will not "outgrow" his father.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

ziggy - 08 Apr 12 - 2:36 AM

Ch. 24: Candles In The Wind

This is a lovely chapter- as they all are. Corlin is developed in a way that is quiet and self-contained. He will be the greatest loss to Olorin I hthinlk and I am intrigued ot see how you develop his narrative. The others are more ordinary and less likely to play some part in the later tales.

I am so sad to lose Schlain- such a great character.

This fabulous line:

'The wind began to rise in the wizard's life. He had not called it down, and he could not control it. The candles began to waver in the storm.' and then it begins - the loss and the grief. 

 

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 10:08 PM

Ch. 24: Candles In The Wind

Immortality of his sort certainly comes at a heavy cost.  And what he'd foreseen now comes home to haunt him.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

ziggy - 08 Apr 12 - 2:37 AM

Ch. 25: The Gift

I cant say much about this- spent the whole chapter sobbing.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 10:46 PM

Ch. 25: The Gift

And so the Grey Pilgrim returns to his proper labors, labors that will mean more as they serve to protect not only those descended from those he's known, but those descended from himself as well.  He has a distinct stake in their future now.

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

ziggy - 08 Apr 12 - 2:38 AM

Ch. 26: A Stranger Passes Through

Aiwendiel - this is too sad and I cant write anything now. Everything has gone. I hate the man for killing the badgers. Would Orli really have married such a nasty man? And everything that was Mithrandir and Corli seems to have left,  and the magic all gone. 

I am really left with this sense of devastation and loss. Mithrandir returning only 87 years after - of course it wouldn't be the same but somehow the badger cull is worse than anything else. I have such a sense of anger at the man who did this and I really wnated the Grey Man who would have stopped it- or punished it, back. Instead Mithrandir meekly accepts that everything has gone and almost turns his back on it. This interlude has changed him - and he needed to know what it was like but oh, it's so bleak in fact. 

What you have done is make the sense of time exquisitely painful. The loss he bears is immense and you made me share in it in a painful and emotional way. You write beautifully- every word perfect and accurate and I can only admire. It doesn't feel like I am reading- but experiencing everything as if I am there. I wish the ending had been less distressing but I also know you needed to show that nothing was left- and you did. 

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Aiwendiel - 08 Apr 12 - 4:09 PM

Ch. 26: A Stranger Passes Through

Ah my dear faithful reader, Ziggy! So glad that you found this first before any others. Your comments are truly truly awesome to me. Thank you so very much.

I set out to try to capture a Gandalf who was sort of innocent of loss and who had to go through this crucible to be able to really understand what he would ask of others--especially Frodo--in the future. He had to experience it all: friendship, betrayal, anger, love, supreme joy, devastating loss, and feel it like a real mortal would, because he was living like one. And I particularly wished to present a character who was riven with doubts but kept on going --- like all of us, like me. I am glad I seemed to capture some of what I set out to do, and despite the sadness I think it couldn't have ended any other way, or the Gandalf of the future, some 2000 years later, couldn't have become the apparently detached, irascible, impatient old man whose heart of compassion was always just beneath the surface. Thank you again! 

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Aiwendiel - 08 Apr 12 - 4:15 PM

Ch. 26: A Stranger Passes Through

Oh, and by the way, sorry about the badger. I think nothing is more infuriating to me as well as when a human heartlessly destroys another living creature just because he can... And as to whether a descendent of Corli would have been foolish enough to marry a boor like him, well, sometimes we make awful mistakes that we can't easily escape. At first I wrote that Olorin's eldest daughter would inherit that beryl necklace, but when the scene with 'Corli-II' of 87 years later popped into view, I had to give it back to Mithrandir, so he could 'pay it forward' and give his great-great-great-granddaughter a way out! Wonder where that necklace ended up? I am sure it provided her with the help she needed to get the heck out of there. Grin

Go to A Mortal Life

A Mortal Life

Larner - 01 Oct 13 - 10:53 PM

Ch. 26: A Stranger Passes Through

His beloved's namesake remains, at least, although her father is a proper prig.  I'm glad he bade the enchantment to remain to Corli's protection.  And I hope she reaches out to her future and finds the joy her great grandmother knew in his arms.

Go to A Mortal Life

In Stories

Finding Story Comments

Only chapters with comments appear in the drop down list. "General Comments" are free floating and don't belong to a particular chapter.

To leave a comment for a chapter that doesn't appear in the drop-down list, go to that chapter and use the form on the page.

Donation Options

Keyword Search

Search story summaries and titles


Don't use commas. Separate words with spaces.